


Conversations

by HollyMartins



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Domestic, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Light Angst, Married Life, Miscarriage, Off-screen Character Death, Pregnancy, Young Ben Solo, Young Rey, discussion of miscarriage, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-06-30 09:27:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15748911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollyMartins/pseuds/HollyMartins
Summary: Rey and Ben travel through life—from high school to university to beyond—sharing conversations.Or, the author wanted Reylo domestic fluff.





	1. Through the years

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first entry in Reylo AU Week 2018. It's been a while since I've done any writing for a tumblr challenge so I'm very excited.
> 
> Please enjoy and thank you so much for reading! This is not beta-read so please be gentle but remember, comments mean the world to all us writers so don't be shy! I'm always excited to speak to readers.
> 
> Also, quick trigger warning: there is a reference to past sexual assault in the beginning but it is not graphic.
> 
> Thank you again!

Rey found him in the art classroom, not surprisingly sitting at a desk that was bathed in sunlight. He was always going on about the importance of natural light and the color wheel and whatever else artists think about. Rey rarely had patience for it and today, any patience she typically had for Ben was completely gone. 

“Benjamin Solo, I have a question for you,” she demanded as she stepped up to the desk he was hunched over. 

“Hello, Rey,” he replied, his eyes never leaving the paper in front of him. “What’s your question?”

“Why do people think we’re dating?”

Ben finished a particularly ornate flourish on the letter R before glancing up at her, his hair pulled back from his face with a thin black headband that Rey was quite certain he had stolen out of her locker. He raised an eyebrow when he saw that the sight didn’t make her giggle as usual. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he replied coolly. 

“Oh no?” Rey asked, leaning forward and resting her hands on the desk, glaring at his face. “Why don’t you ask your best friend, Hux?”

Ben swallowed before looking back down at his paper. 

“What should I ask him?” he replied.

“Maybe you can ask him why he told Phasma who told Finn who told Rose who told me,” Rey said, her voice raising, “that I slept over your house this weekend.”

“Well, you did,” Ben pointed out. 

“Yeah, in the guest room on the other side of your mansion because your mum insisted!” Rey spat. “Did you mention that?”

“I may have left that bit out,” Ben answered meekly, slowly sinking deeper into his seat. 

Rey crossed her arms and growled, causing Ben to flinch slightly. It would’ve been a comical sight, the freckled and compact sophomore glaring down at the pale, long-limbed senior—had it not been incredibly tense. He lowered his face and allowed his hair to fall into his eyes.

“Ben, I trusted you,” Rey insisted.

He winced and looked up, his brown eyes cautious.

"To be fair, I didn't imply anything," he offered. "I just said you needed a place to stay after you got kicked out by your foster parents."

“So now because of your big-mouthed bestie,” she continued, “everyone in school thinks we’re sleeping together!”

Ben furrowed his brows.

“No, they don’t,” he replied. “No one thinks that.”

“Yes, they do and not only that, they think I’m just the slut trying to get a leg up with the richest guy in town.”

Ben stood up abruptly, knocking the desk and sending his calligraphy-covered papers flying onto the floor. 

“No, no one thinks that,” he insisted.

Rey raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You don't know how people talk," she replied, "especially when you're nobody."

"Rey, I—"

"Look, I'd appreciate it if you clarified things with your best friend and told him to stop talking about my apparent sex life."

Ben deflated, his shoulders sagging.

"I will, I promise," he said.

Rey sighed and ran a hand through her hair, coming lose from her messy bun. 

"And tell your mum thank you but I won't be needing a place to stay." 

Ben frowned.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she insisted, "I don't exactly want to add fuel to the fire."

"Rey, if you need a place to stay, don't turn it down just because of some stupid rumor."

"It's fine, really," she said, adjusting her backpack on her shoulders as if ready to leave the room.

"Rey," Ben said in that annoyingly grown-up voice he had adopted ever since turning eighteen—as if that meant anything.

"What?" she snapped.

"Where are you staying then?"

She hesitated for the briefest of moments before answering, "I've been getting along better with my foster parents."

"Yeah," Ben said slowly, crossing his arms over his chest, "you're still staying at my place because I don't believe you for a second."

"I'll stay at Rose's!" Rey resisted the very intense desire to stomp her foot. She didn't want to make him think she was any more immature than he probably already did.

"Nope, you're staying with me."

"Says who?"

"Me. And my mother. I wouldn't suggest arguing with her."

"Just forget it, Ben! I'm not your responsibility or your mum's."

"Damn it, Rey," he said and reached out to grab her arm before she turned. "Learn to accept help once in a while. You don't have to always figure everything out yourself."

"Well, accepting your help the first time resulted in the half the school thinking we're having sex," she spat, praying he wouldn't notice the frustrated tears in her voice, "so I'll handle this on my own."

Ben released her arm and stepped back.

"A stupid rumor really has you this wound up?" he asked. "Why?"

Rey sighed deeply and turned her face away, blinking furiously.

"God, because...because...look, Ben, people already make assumptions about me because of my background. I just want to be normal and not whispered about."

"Rey, people have been spreading rumors about me since I was a kid," Ben pointed out. "Everything from killing my dad to having to transfer here because I tried running over my last principal. It's all bullshit and I learned to just let it roll of my back because it's not worth my time."

"It's easier for you," Rey insisted, wiping at her nose with her fist, "you've got everything! Everyone wishes they had your life. I'm nothing...except something to judge."

"Rey—"

"I just want to graduate and go to college and start my life over far away from anyone making comments about me," she said firmly. "They all think I'm using you."

"Have you actually heard anyone saying that?" Ben asked, raising an eyebrow. "If anything, everyone is jealous of me."

Rey furrowed her brow, sniffing and wiping at her face.

"Why would they be? I'm nothing special."

"Okay," Ben said before placing his hands on Rey's tiny shoulders, "we need to have a serious discussion about self-image and how incredibly wrong you are."

Rey sniffed again and looked down at her scuffed trainers. She took several deep breaths before looking up again, her heart momentarily stopping when she saw Ben's warm, dark eyes gazing down at her so gently. 

"Ben, there's...there's a reason why this rumor upsets me so much."

"Okay," he said, squeezing her shoulders in encouragement. 

"But you have to swear to not tell anyone," she insisted. "Especially not Hux or your mum."

"Alright, I swear it," he answered. "Not a soul."

Rey nodded and inhaled deeply again.

"A year ago, I was with another family and they had a few other kids in their house," Rey began slowly. She lowered her gaze to Ben's chest, unable to look him in the face and see his kind expression turn to pity. "And one of them was older than me and when...when they caught him touching me, I'm the one who got punished."

Ben swallowed and tightened his grip on Rey's shoulders. Not for the first time he recognized how thin she was and his heart broke. 

"Ever since then I've had some...issues with sex and people just...thinking a certain way about me," she whispered.

Ben was silent for several long moments and Rey closed her eyes, willing the tears to go away. The last thing she wanted was Ben to view her differently. 

He cleared his throat before saying, "No one even really thinks we're having sex, just that we're dating. But I'll...I'll make sure to set everyone straight. Don't worry, Rey. They'll forget about it in a couple days once Hux fucks up in gym again."

Rey huffed a laugh and wiped at her eyes, steeling herself before turning her face back up at Ben. To her relief, he looked the same—the same old kind, snarky Ben. 

"You're not going to look at me differently, are you?" she whispered.

"No," he answered, confused, "why would I?"

"People often do," she sighed. "They look at me like I'm a victim and that's if I'm lucky."

"But you're not," he insisted. "You're probably the strongest person I know."

Rey rolled her eyes but couldn't help the smile on her face.

"You're being sweet," she murmured. 

"Yeah," Ben smiled, "I do that sometimes."

"Oh shut up," Rey smirked. "But you won't tell your mother?"

He shook his head. 

"Good," Rey sighed. "I know she'll try to do something about it."

"Only because she adores you and wants what's best for you," he pointed out.

Rey shrugged.

"I don't know why. It's sweet but I don't get it."

"You don't have to," Ben offered before pausing. "I do, though."

Rey's heart leapt into her throat as she blinked up at Ben. His face was impassive but his ears were bright red, a telltale sign that he was a) embarrassed and b) telling the truth.

"Ben, I—"

The bell rang shrilly, causing both teens to jump. Ben immediately turned and dropped to his knees, gathering his papers that he had discarded on the floor, shoving them inelegantly into his backpack.

"I have to go," he said hurriedly. "You're still staying over though. My mom will kill me otherwise."

Rey watched him, dumbstruck, until he stood, backpack in hand and his ears still red. 

"I'll see you later," he mumbled before pushing past her and out the door. 

Rey blinked and idly remembered how to breathe again. 

 

The phone rang.

Rey jerked awake, sitting up quickly and groaning when she realized she had fallen asleep at her desk again. She rubbed at her face before searching among her textbooks and papers for her phone, getting more and more frustrated until she realized it was under the paper plate holding a half-eaten sandwich.

She smiled tiredly when she saw the name flashing on the screen but couldn’t help but yawn as she said, “Hey, Ben.”

“Did I wake you?” 

“Yeah but it’s okay,” she replied, blinking rapidly in an effort to wake up further. 

“Did you pull another all-nighter?” 

“No,” Rey quickly responded but at the sound of Ben’s sigh, she knew he didn’t believe her.

“You can’t keep doing that,” he said, his voice taking on that annoying I’m-older-I-know-better tone that she had hated since high school. “You know it’s bad for you and your work.”

“Oh shut up,” she snapped, standing up and stretching. She headed towards her sad little kitchenette and frowned when she realized all her mugs were either soaking in the sink or had cold coffee mildewing at the bottom. “I distinctly remember you only sleeping during the day all throughout your senior year. Remember when your mom visited for homecoming and you had been awake for over 36 hours?”

“Yeah, and then I grew up and realized what a shitty way to live that was,” Ben shot back. He sighed again before admitting, “I’m just worried about you, kid. I don’t want you burning yourself out.”

Rey rolled her eyes and reached for a pair of leggings she had left on the couch the night before. They were probably clean enough for a quick stop at the local bodega. 

“Anyway, is there a reason why you decided to call me before dawn?” she asked.

“It’s after ten and I’m calling because I want to verify that you’re coming home for Thanksgiving.”

Rey clenched her eyes shut and bit her lip. She knew she had forgotten something last night. She must’ve decided working on her thesis was more appealing than disappointing Ben and Leia.

“Um,” she began and winced when she heard Ben sigh yet again.

“You’re not coming. Again.”

“Ben, I—”

“No, it’s fine, I know you’re busy.”

“It’s just I need to get this thesis done so I can get my degree this year and I can’t really afford traveling back home and—”

“You know I’d cover you.”

“That’s not the point. And I don’t want you paying for me.”

“Rey, it’s not like that, it’s a gift.”

“No, Ben.”

He sighed for the fourth time and was worryingly silent for several moments before he admitted, “You know it’s going to be torture without you there, right?”

Rey rolled her eyes again and shimmied into her leggings one-handedly. 

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

“You know how my mom is and how she gets around the holidays. I need someone else there she can bounce her crazy off of.”

“Don’t talk about your mother like that.”

“And she worries about you constantly and then she’ll start badgering me that I need to keep a better eye on you before reprimanding me for not convincing you to go to school closer to home.”

“If it makes you feel any better, she does that to me, too, whenever we’re on the phone.”

“Yeah but does she also loudly and constantly wonder why you’re still single and insist you join Match or eHarmony or something?”

Rey furrowed her brows as she grabbed her keys and bag.

“Seriously? She wants you to do that?”

“She offered to pay for the first three months,” he said, a groan creeping into his voice.

Rey huffed a laugh in an effort to sound light-hearted but she suspected it sounded more like a pained cough. 

“She just wants to see you happy,” she offered, locking her door and heading towards the stairwell where she tooks the steps two at a time. 

“I’d be much happier if she left it alone,” he replied. She could picture him running a hand through his hair distractedly. 

“So lie and say you’ve been on some dates,” she offered, pushing open the front door of her building and wincing as the autumn sunlight hit her at full force.

“She can always tell when I’m lying,” he answered. “Besides, she’ll want to know all the details about who she was, where we went, what we did. I’m not that creative.”

“Why don’t you date?” she asked, a pit forming in her stomach as the words left her mouth. She hadn’t thought ahead on this one. 

Ben was silent again for a few breaths. Rey bit her lip, wondering if she had offended him when he cleared his throat.

“Too busy,” he grumbled.

“Bullshit.”

He sighed—in what must’ve been a world record for most sighs per conversation—and Rey half-expected him to tell her to mind her business and hang up.

“I am busy,” he admitted, “but mostly, I don’t enjoy dating.”

“Well, it is nerve wracking, I guess.”

“Mmhm,” Ben agreed quietly. 

“And if it makes you feel any better, I haven’t been on a date in over six months,” she offered.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, if anything, I’m the one who’s too busy to even attempt looking for a date and all the guys around here are gross.”

Ben laughed and Rey smiled. She often missed his laugh the most.

“You sound like you’re in high school again,” he said.

“I often feel like I am whenever I’m TA-ing,” she grumbled. 

They lapsed into silence again and Rey wondered if she should let him go. Knowing him, he probably had a three hour workout to get to or some office underlings to scare. But just when she was going to offer her goodbyes, he suddenly said, “I do miss you.” 

Rey stopped short and caught her breath.

“I miss you, too,” she said softly. “A lot.”

“You sure you can’t get away for Thanksgiving?” 

She looked down at her scuffed boots and sighed. 

“Yeah, I doubt it, Ben,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he offered, “I understand.”

“You’re still disappointed.”

“I just want to see you.”

For some reason, Rey’s heart started beating very quickly, though she couldn’t quite place why. She was right outside the bodega but the idea of hanging up was anathema to her. She swallowed when Ben suddenly spoke again.

“Do you remember when everyone thought we were sleeping together in high school?” he asked.

She blinked. This was decidedly not the turn she expected this conversation to take.

“Uh, yeah,” she stammered. “Yeah, I remember. Sophomore year. Well, my sophomore year.”

“I was thinking about that the other day,” he continued, an odd sound of wistfulness creeping into his voice. “Funny, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Rey said, wondering what the hell kind of point he was trying to make. 

“I had a lot of rumors spread about me,” he continued. “Some even followed me to college. I remember telling you they didn’t bother me but that wasn’t true.”

“No?” 

“No. They bothered me. A hell of a lot.” Ben exhaled a deep breath before continuing, “But that one didn’t.”

Rey stood there, frozen as she stared at nothing. She had no idea how to respond except try to make a joke of it.

“Well, it was better than people saying you killed your dad,” she said before flinching and mentally face-palming herself. God, she was such an idiot.

Ben huffed a laugh.

“Yeah, much better,” he murmured. He cleared his throat again. “Hey, I got an idea.”

Rey blinked again. This had to be by far the strangest conversation she had ever had with Ben and they once had spent an hour discussing their favorite cryptids. 

“What’s that?” she asked.

“How about I come up to you for Thanksgiving?”

“What?” 

“I could fly up Thursday morning and leave that weekend. I’ll take you out for dinner or if you want, I could try to cook something palatable in that sad little kitchen of yours.” 

“Kitchenette,” Rey gasped. He laughed again and she couldn’t help it, she smiled. “What about your mom?”

“She’s gonna have a full house anyway,” he said. “Chewie, his kids, Lando, and some cousins I don’t even know. Besides, if she knows I’m with you and making sure you’re eating, she’ll be thrilled.”

“You don’t have to,” Rey offered meekly, her heart beating wildly.

“But I want to,” Ben said firmly. 

“...Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah,” Rey said, grinning. “Yeah, I’d love it, actually.”

“Great,” Ben exclaimed. “Now I’m actually looking forward to Thanksgiving for once.”

“Me too.”

“Well, I’ll see you then,” Ben said, his smile evident in his face. “I’m excited, kid.”

“Me too.” 

It took every ounce of self-control to stop herself from saying “I love you” and she had no idea he was having the same difficulty. 

 

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Of course. I did this hundreds of times as a kid."

"Hundreds?" Rey asked, raising an eyebrow. "How many baby teeth did you have exactly?"

Ben waved his hand impatiently and turned back to the task at hand: fitting a loop of string around a very loose tooth in his daughter's mouth.

"Open wide," he instructed. 

"Please make sure you've got the right tooth," Rey insisted. This time, it was their daughter—Gracie—who waved her hand impatiently, effortlessly illustrating once again that she was a mini-Ben in everything but looks. 

A tiny pair of hands pulled gently on the back of Rey's shirt. Glancing behind her, she smiled in reassurance. Their second daughter, Gracie's fraternal twin, was peering up at Rey with worry in her dark eyes. 

"Is Gracie gonna be okay?" she asked softly.

"Of course she is," Rey promised. "Daddy's just being silly."

"Not silly," Ben insisted, tying the other end of the string to the bathroom doorknob. "Strategic."

"Don't worry, Esther," Gracie said, a bit awkwardly and full of spit as her mouth was still wide open.

Rey sighed and shifted Lydia in her arms to her other hip and rested a hand on Esther's head. Ben glanced over at his other daughter and smiled reassuringly. 

"Don't worry, sweetheart," he said. "This won't hurt a bit. Now watch." He stood and put his hand to the door. "Ready, Gracie?" At her vigorous nodding, he said firmly, "Now, deep breath, and one...two...THREE."

Rey and Esther both flinched at the loud slam of the door and equally loud wailing of Lydia. Gracie looked momentarily confused, as if uncertain if anything had happened, before rooting around with her tongue. Suddenly, her eyes went wide with wonder.

"It worked!" she shouted excitedly.

Ben bent down and gingerly picked up a tiny baby tooth off the floor, slipping it out of the string.

"Hah!" he exclaimed. "Check this out. Told ya, Rey."

Rey exhaled shakily and shook her head, a smile on her face nonetheless as she attempted to settle Lydia in her arms. 

"Did it hurt?" Esther asked, awestruck.

"Nope," Gracie answered proudly.

“Check it out,” Ben offered, showing off the baby tooth in the palm of his hand to both his daughters. They stared at it in wonder as Rey reminded Gracie to rinse out her mouth.

“That’s so cool,” Esther admitted.

“See, it’s not so scary,” Ben said, leaning forward to kiss her on her forehead. “You have nothing to worry about. It doesn’t hurt to have a loose tooth, does it, Gracie?”

She shook her head as she rinsed water around her mouth.

“And you get a visit from the Tooth Fairy tonight,” Rey reminded them. 

At her sister’s obvious excitement, Esther pouted and admitted she wished she had a loose tooth, too. 

“You’ll get one soon enough,” Rey said, running her fingers through her dark hair. 

“Can I put it under my pillow now?” Gracie asked excitedly.

“Why don’t you wait until you go to sleep? You don’t want to lose it before the Tooth Fairy can get it,” Ben said. “I’ll hold onto it for now.”

She reluctantly agreed before asking for lunch, causing Rey to smile at how quickly a five-year-old's attention can be diverted.

“At least it’ll be easier to eat now,” Ben said, standing up and closing his hand around his daughter’s tooth. “Now go play. We’ll get lunch for you in a couple minutes.”

The two sisters scampered to their shared bedroom, excitedly wondering just how the Tooth Fairy would get into their house. Rey sighed, sitting on her and Ben’s bed with Lydia in her arms. 

“God, that stressed me out a lot more than I expected,” she admitted.

Before Ben could respond, Lydia brought her hand to Rey’s face and insisted, “Mama, hungee.”

“I know, I know, it's lunchtime,” Rey said, a gentle smile on her face as she leaned down to kiss their youngest on the top of her soft brown curls.

Ben gazed down at the baby tooth in his hand for several long moments. He sighed, opened the slim wooden catchall box he kept on his nightstand and placed it in there. He turned towards Rey and sat beside her on the bed, reaching a gentle hand to caress at Lydia’s curls as she nursed contentedly at Rey’s breast. 

“Our girls are growing up,” he said softly. 

“They certainly are,” Rey replied, tilting her head to rest on Ben’s shoulder.

“We should probably have a few more.”

Rey laughed aloud and rolled her eyes at Ben’s cheeky grin.

“Still want to try for a boy?” Rey asked, recalling the well-meaning but always irritating comments from others after the birth of their third daughter.

Ben shook his head. 

“Nah,” he said. “Five years of three girls, I wouldn’t know what to do with a boy. I’m more than happy.” 

"Mmm, we're very lucky."

Ben reached an arm around Rey's shoulder and squeezed gently. 

"I'm the lucky one," he whispered against her hair. "You gave me all this."

"You had a hand in it, too," Rey teased, her smile lighting up her eyes. 

Ben grinned and, at the sight of his youngest daughter reaching a hand out to him, placed his finger in her palm and sighed.

"Don't you go growing up too fast, young lady," he told her, earning a toothless grin in response.

"I am going to miss having a baby around when Lydia starts hitting toddlerhood," Rey admitted. "But we did say this little one was gonna be our last."

“A man can dream,” Ben said, winking. 

Rey shook her head and smirked. Suddenly they heard the scampering of tiny feet and both Gracie and Esther appeared in the doorway.

“Yes, girls?” Ben asked.

“We’re hungry,” Gracie reminded them.

“Maybe I’ll rethink that dream,” Ben said with laugh before standing up. “Alright, let’s go forage in the kitchen.”

The twins followed their father down the hall and Rey looked down at their youngest, whose big brown eyes gazed up at her in contentment. 

“We’re four very lucky girls,” she whispered to her daughter. The smile on Lydia's face told Rey she agreed.


	2. Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey share a conversation one Halloween night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed this little family I had created for Ben and Rey so I decided to revisit them. Enjoy this little conversation between Ben and Rey and happy Halloween! 
> 
> This is not beta-read so any mistakes are mine. 
> 
> Remember, comments mean so much to me and all writers so please do so! Thank you for reading and stop by tumblr to say hi: hollymartinswrites.tumblr.com
> 
> Thanks again!

Rey yawned as she walked into the living room, her wet hair wrapped up in a towel and her ghost pajamas only slightly faded after years of Halloween use. Their youngest, Lydia, had gone down to sleep without a fight, clearly run down after a decidedly unusual day. The poor thing had spent the entire day confused as to why she was dressed as a dinosaur or why her sisters were so excited and hyper. Rey was simply grateful she was still too young to understand the appeal of candy.

Arriving int the bedroom, Rey blinked at the sight before her—Ben lounging on the couch, his long legs outstretched, candy wrappers scattered on the floor, and their twin daughters fast asleep on either side of him, heads resting on his lap. 

Rey put her hands on her hips and raised an eyebrow at her husband, who only took his eyes away from the TV for a brief moment. 

"What's up?" he asked, his mouth full.

"You're eating our children's candy? Really, Ben?" Rey asked, stepping over the the discarded costume accessories and piles of treats the girls had collected earlier that day.

"Only the stuff they don't like," he protested. 

Rey shook her head and sighed. 

"You're worse than the kids with your sweet tooth."

Ben shrugged and motioned for her to move out of the way of the television set. Rey glanced over her shoulder and frowned when she saw John Carpenter's The Thing playing.

"Not exactly age appropriate, is it?" she asked, leaning down and maneuvering Esther so she could sit on the couch with her daughter's legs in her lap. 

"They fell asleep during Hocus Pocus and have been out ever since," Ben replied, handing a fun-sized chocolate bar to his wife. "Too much excitement for one day."

Rey nodded and took a bite out of the chocolate, sighing contentedly as she watched Kurt Russell set the latest assimilated Thing on fire. She leaned over and laid her head on Ben's shoulder, running her fingers through her daughter's hair. It was still a bit stiff with glitter.

"It was a success, though," she commented. "Even Lydia seemed to have fun."

"She at least didn't spend the whole day crying," Ben observed. "I knew she'd love that dinosaur costume."

"That you picked out?" Rey asked, smirking.

"She agreed with me," Ben replied, opening another candy bar.

"How much have you eaten?" Rey asked, looking down at the pile of wrappers on the floor.

Ben shrugged. 

"A couple," he answered, pointedly not looking at her.

"Well, you better clean all that up before you get sick," she said. "Honestly, you're worse than the kids."

"You already said that."

"I'm amazed I don't say it more often."

Ben grinned and took another bite of the candy bar. 

"Seriously though, that's enough. You're going to spend the rest of the night in the bathroom if you don't stop."

"Oh alright, Mom," Ben sighed dramatically. 

"Remember the twins' birthday last year? When you ate too much cake?"

Ben grimaced.

"You didn't have to remind me," he muttered. 

Rey laughed and leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek.

"I love you," she said gently, "even your total lack of self control around sweets."

"That should be your favorite part about me."

Rey raised an eyebrow in confusion. 

"After all, I have no self control around you," Ben clarified, grinning lasciviously, causing Rey to groan, roll her eyes, and reach for the throw pillow beside her.

Between the laughing and Ben's dodging of a pillow to the face, their two eldest girls blinked awake in confusion. Esther rubbed at her eyes while Gracie snuggled closer to her father.

"You woke us up," she complained, her eyes steadfastly closed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, girls," Rey said gently, sitting back and running her fingers through Esther's hair again. "Your Daddy was just being silly."

"Why?" Esther asked, yawning. 

"I had too much candy," Ben answered, curling his arms around both his girls and drawing them in closer.

"You ate our candy?" Gracie asked, her eyes wide and stricken.

"Only the ones you don't like," Ben replied quickly. "See?" He pointed at the discarded wrappers on the floor and both girls relaxed. 

"You made a mess, Daddy," Esther observed and Rey nodded sagely.

"He did. And it's time for him to clean up and you two to get to bed."

"Can't we sleep out here?" Gracie asked. "We can watch scary movies."

"Darling, your eyes are already closed," Rey observed. Gracie's eyes opened in defiance but she immediately yawned again, rather ruining the effect. 

"Come on," Ben said, effortlessly standing while somehow carrying both half-asleep girls in his arms. Rey always found it incredibly how he never seemed to tired of holding his children, no matter how big they got. "It's time for all good witches and goblins to go to bed."

Gracie was already asleep on her father's shoulder and Esther merely sighed, "Oh, alright."

"Say good night to Mommy."

"Good night, Mommy."

"Good night, sweetheart, I hope you had a happy Halloween," Rey said, standing up to kiss both girls. 

Esther nodded.

"Can we have more candy tomorrow?" she asked.

"Only if Daddy doesn't eat it all, yes, a bit."

Ben stuck his tongue out at Rey before carrying them to their bedroom. Rey smiled before glancing down at the mess at her feet. How was it, she wondered, that Ben always seemed to make a bigger mess than any of their children?

She huffed a laugh and headed to their bedroom.


	3. Summer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben share a conversation on a very hot day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta-read so any mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Don't forget to comment, it means the world to me! And thank you so much for reading!!

"This is all your fault," Rey panted. 

"I know," Ben admitted, smiling gently. He finished adjusting the standing fan and aimed the head directly at Rey as she laid on the bed. Switching it on, he watched for her reaction to the cool breeze. She only sighed and closed her eyes.

"Does it have a higher speed?" she asked.

Ben reached down and turned the knob all the way to the right. 

"How's that?" he asked.

Rey nodded, peeking open one eye and shaking her head, smirking at the lovestruck look on Ben's face.

"This is all your fault," she repeated. "You were always bad at planning ahead."

"Planning?" he asked.

"You knocked me up in January," she sighed, "not once thinking about what it would be like being seven months pregnant with twins in the summer." 

Ben grinned and shook his head.

"You're right," he said gently. "I was being selfish and stupid, wasn't I?"

She nodded and sighed, stretching luxuriously in the cool breeze of the fan. Ben gazed upon his wife and swallowed. He knew that, as perpetually hot and uncomfortable as she had been lately, the last thing she would want was an amorous husband. But he couldn't exactly help it—desperate to avoid the heat, she lounged, naked, on their bed, and to be honest, Ben had never seen her more attractive. Her current feelings were quite clear when Ben made to sit on the bed beside her, and she quickly insisted, "Don't touch me."

Luckily, Ben was smart enough to know not to be hurt, so decided on kneeling beside the bed, gazing at his wife as if in wonderment, his hands clasped together.

"What are you staring at?" she asked. "How big I am?"

"No," he said softly, "how incredible you are."

Rey rolled her eyes.

"It's true," he insisted. "You're growing two humans as we speak. Our babies." Despite her discomfit, Rey smiled and ran a hand down her swollen belly. "And you look like a goddess."

"Oh, please, Ben."

"No, really," he insisted. "You look like ancient paintings and statues of fertility goddesses. Every time I look at you, I lose my breath. You look...powerful."

Rey blinked as tears suddenly filled her eyes. She reached out both arms and stretched towards Ben.

"Come here," she said.

"I thought you said you were hot."

"I am," she admitted, "but I want you. Take off your clothes. Just looking at you dressed is making me overheat."

Ben smiled and pulled his t-shirt over his head before stepping out of his shorts and boxers. He grinned as he climbed onto the bed beside Rey, fighting the instinct to gather her into his arms, instead leaving space between his body and hers. Rey reached her hand out and took his into her own, resting it gently on the swell of her belly. Ben's eyes brightened as he felt gentle movements beneath his hand. 

"I've been awful lately, haven't I?" Rey whispered.

"Not at all," he replied quickly. "Keeping you cool is relatively easy. Besides, I'm positive our twins are going to be a lot more demanding than you can ever be no matter how pregnant you are."

Rey smirked and turned her head to gaze at Ben, her eyes clear and luminous.

"Think we'll be able to handle it?" she asked. 

He nodded.

"You can handle anything," he insisted.

"What about you?"

"Oh, I'm going to be a mess."

Rey laughed and Ben grinned. He tentatively leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her temple. She lifted her hand and ran her fingers through his dark hair.

"You're going to be a great father," she said gently. 

Ben swallowed as he gazed upon his wife.

"I hope so," he whispered.

"You already are," she insisted. "You think I don't hear you talking to them at night? When you think I'm asleep?" Ben colored, his ears turning bright red. Rey smiled reassuringly and rested her hand on the side of his face. "You're so good to them."

Ben cleared his throat.

"Those conversations were private," he said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but it's so sweet. I promise I won't eavesdrop next time."

"Good, because sometimes we like to gossip about you."

"I'm sure," Rey laughed. 

He couldn't help it; Ben surged forward and captured her lips with his, silently rejoicing when she avidly reciprocated. She ran her fingers through his hair and sighed into the kiss. After a few blissful moments, Ben leaned back, only for Rey to tightened her grip in his hair.

"Kiss me again," she panted. "Don't stop."

"Anything for you," Ben grinned.


	4. Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Rey share a tense conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Discussion of miscarriage and off-screen character death. 
> 
> My favorite little domestic AU of Reylo had to have some angst with all that fluff. I'm so sorry...
> 
> This is not beta-read so any mistakes are mine.
> 
> Remember, comments mean so much to me and all writers so please do so! Thank you for reading and stop by tumblr to say hi: hollymartinswrites.tumblr.com
> 
> Thank you again!

"Ben?" Rey called out, tentative hope in her voice. She walked towards the front door, where Ben had set down his messenger bag and was shaking off his jacket. "You're home early. The girls aren't even done with pre-school."

"I'm not staying," he said quickly, hanging up his jacket and running a hand distractedly through his hair. "I've got a dinner meeting in an hour and a half. Probably won't be done before eight."

He walked past her, his eyes darting away from her face. Rey's heart dropped as she followed him into the bedroom. He was standing at the closet, flipping through his ties, a frown on his face.

"Another late night?" Rey asked softly, knowing that no matter how she tried to disguise it, the disappointment was so evident in her voice.

"Yeah," Ben replied, "we've got a potential merger and Snoke wants all hands on deck." An exasperated sigh escaped him. "Did you pick up the dry cleaning today?"

Rey blinked.

"No," she said, anger slowly creeping up her throat.

Ben sighed again.

"Forget it then," he mumbled to himself. "Those papers I left on the desk this weekend, they're still there, right?"

"I don't touch your work stuff, you know that," Rey snapped. She swallowed and tried to catch her husband's eye. "You've been doing a lot of late nights."

"Yeah, well, Snoke has us all by the balls," he grumbled. "Can't do much about it."

"What about tomorrow?"

"What about it?"

"We're supposed to go out to dinner with your mom tomorrow evening. Remember?"

Ben finally glanced at his wife and frowned.

"Oh," he said. "Yeah, well, we're have to see."

"The girls are excited to see her."

"We'll have to see, Rey," he repeated brusquely and made to walk past her again, as if she was nobody.

"Ben," she said, quickly, "why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"You work late almost every day."

"I told you, the merger-"

"Even before that. For months now, Ben. I want to know why." 

He turned away and said nothing. 

"Tell me the truth," Rey demanded. 

Ben remained silent, his entire body still and his eyes glued to the floor.

"If this is about the mis-"

"Don't," Ben snapped, his arm outstretched as if to snatch the word out of the air. "Fucking don't, Rey."

She blinked, her heart clenching painfully in her chest. Ben had never looked at her with that particular expression on his face—a kind of sick mix of anger and despair. She wondered if was similar to how he looked when his father died. 

"You don't get to tell me what to do, Ben Solo," she said hoarsely. "Do you think you're the only one still hurting from that?"

Ben swallowed, his chest heaving with the effort to stay calm. 

"It's been nearly seven months," Rey continued, her voice strained, "and I hurt from it every day but I don't take it out on my family."

Ben's eyes widened and Rey saw some of the old rage that he had spent years working to tap down and control flair up. She refused to be afraid.

"You think I'm taking it out on you?" he whispered hoarsely. 

"You're never home anymore," Rey pointed out and she couldn't keep the sob out of her voice, "you're always choosing work over me and the girls. Avoiding us isn't going to change what happened."

"I'm avoiding the girls," Ben repeated and took a step towards Rey. "I spend every waking minute I'm not at work with them."

"Yes, but-"

"They're the reason I even go to work everyday," he continued, his hands curled into shaking fists, "they're the only reason I wake up and go to that fucking hellhole and face Hux and Snoke. It's all for them, Rey."

"What about me?" she cried out.

Ben blinked, staring at Rey's wide, watery eyes. He was suddenly struck with how thin she looked, like the scrawny little teenager who had kicked herself into his life all those years ago. 

"What?" he gasped.

"What about me, Ben?" She wiped angrily at the tears on her face. "I know that makes me sound selfish and like a bad mother but I miss you, too. Ever since...ever since we lost the baby you've been gone. You're never here and when you are, you're not. Not really."

"Rey," he began, his hand reaching out towards her but Rey merely shook her head and took a step back.

"You're using work to try to forget about what happened but you can't, you know it. All you're doing is punishing me and the girls and it isn't fair." At this, Rey broke down in earnest, her hands at her flushed face as she wept. Ben blinked stupidly several times before taking a few tentative steps towards her. For several long and tense moments, neither moved or said a word as Ben gazed at his wife as she wept. 

"I can't do this alone, Ben," she gasped as she tried to catch her breath. She hadn't cried like this since she was a young girl and she almost felt foolish. "I can't. I can't."

Without warning, he gathered her into his arms, a warm hand in her hair as he held her to his broad chest, his heart beating wildly.

"Rey, Rey," he chanted, "oh Rey, I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry, I'm such a fucking fool."

"Ben."

"I never, I never wanted to hurt you," he insisted, his throat tight with tears, "you or the girls but I did it anyway. Fuck, I'm just like my father."

"Ben, I-"

"I never should've left you. All this time after the baby and I've just been thinking of myself."

"So have I."

Ben took Rey's tear-stained face into his hands and kissed it repeatedly, from her forehead, her cheeks, to her mouth. 

"I'm sorry," he repeated over and over again, tears spilling from his own eyes. "I took it all out on you. All my grief over the miscarriage and I just took it out on the only people who didn't deserve it."

Rey wrapped her arms around Ben's waist and squeezed as tightly as her strength could allow her.

"Don't go anymore," she begged. "I can't stand watching you leave and coming home from that awful place so drained and miserable."

"I won't," he insisted. "I won't go. Fuck, I can't believe I used Snoke and Hux as a way to cope with everything. What was I thinking?"

"You weren't," Rey said, looking up at her husband with wide, bright eyes. "Neither was I. I've just been so lost and angry and I let you go."

Ben leaned down again to capture her lips with his own, tasting the tears in their kiss. 

"I'm sorry," he repeated, his voice a fierce whisper. "I'm so sorry. I love you. I love you so fucking much, Rey."

She sighed as she rested her head on his chest and for the first time in a very long time, felt safe.

"I know," she whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> I am also on tumblr: hollymartinswrites.tumblr.com


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